ya im emoing now... haha thats why i feel like posting at this late hour.... 'Happy' seems to be the hardest things for miie to do now... i can't find it anywhere... even at my work place, i don't feel happy at all.... hm.... maybe i emo too much le ba... thats why i am kind of use to it le.... my ex classmate say...... "How many secrets do you still have behind your back?" i can't answer it.... because i don't know how to answer it.... words are very dangerous... thats why i don't wanna say it out because it might affec t the current life i am living.... i want to be free.... but i don't have a choice...... its better that i keep everything to myself.... and i bet my next post the title will be... 'When will i become crazy?' Shhh........ haha i like quiet place sometimes... because there is no interruption, no noise no everything that will make my condition worst.... the only i have is my mind..... my mind can make my conditon worst if i am negative.... but on the other hand, my condition will become better if im positive... haah i have a choice to make.... to see whether i want it good or bad.... hope that im not scaring you guys....readers.... haha especially XIONG2 (haha i thought this will not be post le because just now my computer lack....haha ok ba....the truth is the truth) this are my favourite emo song...haha enjoy.... sounds stupid lolx....
hey came back again... i didnt expect i will post again... ya so fast.... im very tired now... hm....ya as usual my blog will just flood with sadness and unhappiness.. think this post will be a long want again... quite surprise that 2010 is not my year again round... its just january and im facing tons of problems... honestly, some are created by myself... keep telling myself: 'Whats the point of creating?' 'Stop doing that...' 'You are nobody' 'Just get a new life' 'Stop you are scaring others...' 'All this, is your retribution' 'No point blaming others...' kind of stupid right? i got back my result le.... its.......im speechless.... its very bad..... no point of saying it... Last monday(11/1) i told myself that i can't be weak... because your friends are all crying.... try your best to cheer them up... even you can't....don't let them know that you are sad... because you are just giving them more burdens.... my result was so bad...... i am very sad...very very sad.... but as long as my friend can get up from their fall, mine is nothing compare to them.... so cheer up.... you are very lucky le.... haha maybe i am selfish to myself, haha nvm... because i know that i am not selfish to others. thats enough for miie le.... after that i went to play pool till night.... haha and ya...i didn't went home that night.... the next day(tuesday 12/1) my bro and i went to Republic Poly together with his friends to ask them whether is there any help but its seems none..... haha nothing much to post.... Wednesday(13/1) we went to Ngee Ann Poly ya because there seems hope for miie to poly.... go there and check out some details.... and off i go to the chalet.... (my bro is quite angery upon hearing that) during the chalet everyone was just watching some show... haha so i just walk here and there.... ya doing nothing *And you! i know you are not drunk, but must know your limit ok? that day i was very tired, but i tell myself not to sleep.. after i saw my friend just came back from....haha you should know no matter what, you need to stay awake.... ya its just a short while only and off i go.... Thursday(14/1) i went to meet up my bro.... we went to severals poly again trying every help we can find to get miie to poly.... apply for DAE for 4 poly technic.... SP NP NYP TP readers get this clear....must study hard.... or else you will be very tired.... its more like a begging to every poly.... around 7 plus.... i reach the chalet... everyone was preparing for Andy's Birthday ya there is some conflicts shall not post much for it... haha just hope that Andy did enjoy that night... that night i was half relax and half stress im relax because i have finish my DAE and JAE stress? problem seems to running through my friend mind.... its no point of asking because nothing will be spill out.... so i just went to sleep... ya its a way of running away (BUT I CAN DO NOTHING) Friday(15/1) packing out our stuff.... my friend is....... haiz....didn't really talk to her that day the most comfortable chat is when both of us say 'Bye Bye' Overall..... i really very thankful to my bro that he accompany miie to every poly to apply for DAE. Hm....maybe the way i present myself isn't that thankful, because i am not a direct person....but Thanks! Will treat you 1 day....hope that both of us can get into the same poly.... Yesterday i was very pissed of.... i can feel the heat running through my body... i can also feel my eyes is changing.... during that moment i can only feel hatred.... my EQ is really damn low..... don't know when then can i know how to control my temper... haiz....i ask too much le.... KELVIN CHIN SEOW KEONG! Wake up ok? MUST DO WHAT THE TITLE OF THE BLOG SAY OK? 'Change Myself' Remember! CHANGE YOURSELF you better don't give any burdens to anyone le.... and special thanks to Sandy..... Thanks for correcting my way or else i will be another person le..... hope that everything will be like before..... and KELVIN you better don't do stupid things or else....you will regret.... do what youy should do, but not do what you shouldn't do.... ok? Really need to find a time to relax myself ba.... haah friends of mine must jio miie out arh... lolx... Chin kok! you too... Cheer up! i won't say much because i don't want to pour cold water at you..... Xiong2..... Take care too...... -end-
Hi.. i just came back from chalet... wasn't a good 1 in fact... never been to a chalet which will bring lots of unhappiness to miie... hm....the worst part is that i got drunk on the first day... didn't realise that i finish half bottle of the vodka... haha.....the world is spinning and im spinning too... many things has just happen before the chalet, thought of enjoying myself there and forget everything....but........ i saw her.....why is the world like that? everytime when i make up my mind, everything will just come back to miie.... hm....thats why i plan to drink alone.... disstress....... while i am still half awake, quite surprise to see my brother/sister came back.... thought that person is going for cycling.... and when i am all alone, i can go drink... shout out everything i want....because no one will know it nor hear it.... my plans totally fail when my brother/sister came back.... honestly, i still remember what happen that day when im drunk, but some..... cannot really recall....just hope that i didn't do anything bad.... hm....after that incident, trying all my best to "go back to the past when we use to be great friends" it goes quite well in the afternoon, but at night wasn't that well. because the way my brother/sister acts make miie totally feel like..........someone that is bad...the word is very very bad...thats why i didn't want to spell it out... during the walk at night alone...i tell myself something that.... 我已经被判死刑了。。。。 nevermind le....its not important le... for now.... i just trying my very best to get things back like before.... my wish is....everyone can forget that..... let life continue like that.... hm......honestly the title of this post is actually “被判死刑的我” but thanks to that message, i have decide to change it..... that is why it is call "A Change of Mind" will never forget that 背影.... even if we are just friend..... i won't forget that..... because it belongs to my friend? brother? or sister? haha don't know what we are le lolx.... just hope that we will get back like before.... i will always side you whenever anything happens.... haha thats why i will always be at your back.... help? jokes? crap? nonesense? whatever you want..... i can try my best to provide it.... but please....not monkey.......i rather become a pig than that....T.T... hm....text miie when you are free ba... as you know...i won't message you..... haha you should know why lolx..... results coming out on monday..... hope that there will not be any disappointment again..... and oh ya...good luck to you lolx....haha should give you a name here.... "Xiong2" haha sound disgusting haha but nvm because its not my nick.... having a chalet next week again... wish that it will not be any unhappiness.... will want the 'Frisbee chalet' to replace the 'Current chalet' that i have went to.... God Bless miie and to you too..... take care....enjoy -end-
