after hearing my past especially my character..
make miie realise that i have change a lot...
won't blame anyone or my past experience...
maybe those are the things which change miie...
being 18 really made miie think a lot...
then scared this and that...
my past has given miie lots of pressure thats why i want to work hard to achieve what i don't have now....
not expecting much from others....
but myself.....
life is unfair.....
im born in a middle weath family...
that 'Yin ying' has make miie realise that i have to be.............
haha sounds stupid...
thats why don't want to say whats that...
i use to be a person who do things without thinking...
that is why i always make ppl fed up....
now im thinking a lot, make miie into a diff person....
or you can say its a scarycat.....
i looking forward to see a better miie.....
sometimes really have a lot of pressure....
why can't i have this?
why can't i have that?
why can't i earn the things i want....
really very pressure....
all this pressure make miie so pathetic and useless....
:)
yah im useless now.....
i want to make a change in my life....
i want to have my own target.....
so thats why people will now comment on miie.....
my LLA teacher first ask the class "What do you expect yourself to wear or live 20years later?"
then ask him whether "can i don't answer it......"
he ask "Why?"
i say "i don't dare to think...."
in the end, he say.....
"You fear for your future"
i was speechlesss.....
he is true....
to think of it.....
i am really afraid of my future.....
its really very scary.....
i don't even dare to think how much i wanna earn in future....
i am afraid.....
my fear......
you can ask miie to do anything......
but if something which relates to my future....
i "DON'T DARE" to do it.........
i needa be strong....
keeping secrets??????
like father, like son.....
several precaution i have made to prevent things from happening....
i know myself....
i know what kind of person i am.....
i need to change my bad habit.....
hm....really ridiculous to expect others to do things.....
its my own business and i can't drag others down with miie.....
she is very happy now.....
glad to hear from it.....
i want to work now.....
work as much as i can......
my path is still quite far away....
my goal is still nowhere to be seen....
need to work hard now.......
change myself...
stop myself.....
honestly, i hate myself.......
her words make miie think a lot too...
its still not the time yet.....
i still have tons and lots of things to do.....
:)
i will become a more mature person...
know whats the priority......
bye bye KELVIN~
feel like hearing this song.....


-end-

Labels: fear of my future

School:ITE college East(PB1004K)
Owner:KELVIN
Age:hyper18
Status:EMOly complicated
First Cry:3rdFeb92
CCA:Playing Basketball
Attitude:LAME and EMO

♥ SOMETHING SPECIAL

AND ITS A SECRET ♥ Spending great time with friends ♥ Being LAME
♥ Being EMO
♥ Basketball
♥ Seeing people happiie ♥ To have great
memories ♥ Talk crap
♥ Make friends

NOTHING AS ITS VERY TIRING TO DO SO AND I MEAN BOTH PEOPLE AND THINGS